no more what if’s

when I come to think of it, I’ve rarely called you by your name… the sound of it, spoken out loud in my own voice, would always surprise, almost vex me… because in a weird way, instead of bringing you closer by association, it threw you far away, beyond reach(indeed, love dies into fear)…
it might have been because I always wanted to call you so many other, different, special ways, my ways,  that I forgot who you really were…  I feel like I have wronged you, by wanting a different version of you, my very own, when in truth you have never been truly mine, nor I truly yours…
forgive me… and in turn I will forgive myself for wanting the fairytale, better than anything else… To my defense I will admit that I might need to grow up a little more… but I’ll be damned if I do anything to faster the process…
let the world run for it… I prefer long walks to races any time (funny, even in this we are not alike)…

ps: “it is not the curse, it’s the power you give the curse”

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